DO's AND DON'T's

Älskar Vicelands inslag "DOs and DON'Ts". Quotar några just 4U guys.

DO
Over 60 percent of what we say is communicated via body language. This gesture is saying, “I big-upped Vice on Proj Run so I could dress like a sex-addict IP guy and THEY still make me a DO.”

DO

It's nice when people go to a lot of trouble putting together a perfect weekend outfit cause it shows they care about making the night something special, but our hearts still belong to the last-minuters who dive through a pile of clothes and are ready to rage.

DO

As cool as it would be to have telekinesis, you know there'd be no way to keep your brain under control when a girl like this walks up with her top held together by one stressed out button.

DON'T

We thought these guys didn’t get the memo that every doorgirl in the city has explicit instructions “not to let any striped shirts in.” Then we found out it’s a warning date rapists wear on purpose. “We use them to let girls know they should stay away,” one of them told us, “We don’t want to be tempted just as much as girls don’t want to get raped.”

DON'T

I was at a party once and a guy was doing a helicopter thing with his head because he had a braid like this and I go, “What’s the matter with you? Are you on acid or something?” Then I laugh and go upstairs to pee and his mother is sitting there on the stairs. Turns out he did acid a year before and had been fucked in the head ever since! She had brought him to the party hoping that seeing his old friends might pull him back into reality. In other words, sir, you look like a mentally-ill bummer that tears families apart.

DON'T

"In "This Is England" we see the ideal tailoring for poor white people. This look is for someone a third of his age who is up waaaay past his bed time"

DO

Women love guys in brown shirts because it reminds them of the Nazis and they all had a wide-on for Ralph Fiennes in Schindler's List.

DON'T

Dude, no offense but might it be time to throw in the towel? You look like a crumpled paper bag.

DO

Weirdo in the mismatched socks with the tiny guitar is lame on MTV, but if a guy is by himself in Australia it’s the kind of authentic eccentricity that eventually makes one a great dad.